Loss of a child

The loss of a child at any age is a devastating blow to a mother and father.  All the dreams for yourself, your child and your child’s offspring go up in smoke.   You are left with a deep, dark hole in your heart.  You are left with a pain that lingers though with time waxes and wanes.

I was looking through a catalogue and saw  personalized Chrismas ornaments and it made me think of the holidays.  I did not celebrate Chrismas last year.  I thought this year would be different but when I saw the  “Precious son ornament,” I don’t know if I can do it.

My Christmas tree was always filled with ornaments collected over time, some were gifts, some were handmade.   Many of them have to do with milestones in my dead child’s life.  How do you hang those ornaments? Do I just buy all new ornaments?  Then the tree would be just a decoration.

If anyone has a suggestion let me know.

It’s easy to say, start all over but the pain is indescribeable.  I know a man who always went on a vacation to an exotic place every Christmas.  After the fifth trip, he realized he had stop running away.  Now he does Chrismas at home with his surviving son.

I ask myself, will it take five years to do this?  I’m at a loss for an answer.  My son loved Christmas.

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